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ANNALIESE! ANNALIESE! is a quirky romantic comedy about a millennial man-hating woman, who, after being threatened with a blackmail marriage proposal, concocts a plan with the gay guy next door to become a nun (even though she's no religious) to save her women's legal defense charity from ruin.


The story appeared first as seven backstory WEBISODES edited into a 45-minute short feature that we premiered January 28, 2018 at the Farmington Civic Theater (Farmington, MI). They tell the story about Annaliese before the feature's story begins. The WEBISODES also support the Kickstarter Crowd Funding Campagin to fund the full-length feature movie. If we can raise the required funds, the feature will be produced.


The seven WEBISODES are posted on this site in four chunks to entice people to pledge to our Crowd Funding campaign. Click the WEBISODES tab at the top of this page, or any of the colored links in these paragraphs.


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The seven part web series tells us a little about Annaliese and her problem.


1. DR. FRED. Annaliese meets with her therapist, which her mom pays for, in an effort to "straighten" her out make her fit for marriage.


2. ON THE RUN. Annaliese goes jogging with her childhood best friend, Jillian. Annaliese tries to convince Jillian that they both should be nuns. Jillian doesn't think so.


3. THE KITCHEN PROMO. Annaliese's mother tries to butt in on her daughter's fame of starring in a movie.


4. DRIVING ME CRAZY. Jillian drives Annaliese to her third convent interview, which Jillian says is "...driving me crazy."


5. THE THIRD INTERVIEW. Mother Superior tells Annaliese that as a Sister of the Child Jesus, there are no days off, and she can expect to take Sister Pauline's jack hammer class.


6. TAKE AWAY NUNINGS. Jillian drives Annaliese back after the interview and concludes that Annaliese has two choices: "(A). muck out horse stalls, or (B) change diapers."


7. ALL ABOUT DEVIN. Annaliese's mother throws her a surprise birthday party of sorts. But the party ends abruptly and sends Annaliese to Jillian's house for a "tea" party...with something stronger than tea.




(this synopsis subject to revision)


Annaliese, a beautiful 25 year-old woman who dislikes men, moves into her new apartment. Little does she know that Bradley, her nerdy next door neighbor whom she does not recognize, has had a crush on her since high school. He discovers that she won't let men get close to her, so he lies and tells her he's gay. She condescends and allows him to talk to her for 10 seconds once a week, as she hands him a garbage bag, to take to the dumpster.


Aside from men in general that continually sexually harass Annaliese for her natural beauty, there is one man that epitomizes the problem. Dino Ambrosi runs the manufacturing company her deceased father founded. And it's Dino that controls the estate funds that allows Annaliese to go to school and fund a charity for abused and neglected women. But Dino isn't satisfied with just owning "Daddy's company. He wants Daddy's little girl, too." So he threatens Annaliese with blackmail unless she marries him. This risks her ability to finish her masters degree in  Women's Studies along with the charity she founded to find justice for neglected and abused women, which is where she pus 75% of her trust fund income.


So, she concocts a plan to foil Dino's threat by becoming a nun, except she isn't that religious. Her latest target is the Convent of the Perpetual Virgin. But during a discernment weekend there, Mother Superior tells her that she first has to write an essay about her experiences dating men... at least five different men....before they will even accept her application to enter the convent as a novice.


This is beyond Annaliese's imagination. She's experienced just too much sexual harassment and abuse in her life, especially from Dino, a self-absorbed cad, who wants Annaliese for his trophy wife. Then there's her older brother who she idolized until a certain event during high school convinced her that all men should be despised. And of course there's all the men on the street who think she's a piece of meat. Besides she has not dated a man in years.


Confronting the constant objections of her mother who is desperate for grandchildren and can't imagine her daughter a perpetual virgin, Annaliese enlists Bradley's help. As a photographer, Brad is on assignments all over the city and knows a lot of men...who are not gay. He assures her the men he knows would probably go out with our young and beautiful protagonist and he's glad to help her achieve her dream of being a, nun. Unique among his kind, Bradley selflessly wants Annaliese to be happy, so he sincerely helps Annaliese in her quest to become a nun.


One-by-one, the two work together to arrange five dates, to fulfill the convent's requirement. But the dates are all disasters...something she both expected but also saddens her. There's an outing with a lawyer who takes her on a ride with his weekend motorcycle gang. A young banker tries to take her to dinner and to the opera, but the maître 'd won't even seat them. She cooks dinner for another man, but lets the roast duck burn when she finds out his obsession with a certain kind of wildlife. She asks a philosopher to coffee, but she being a natural theist and he being an existential nihilist doesn't prove promising. And finally, there's the handsome devout Catholic man who she almost kills in a car accident.


Now, with her car totaled, she has to ask Brad to take her to the convent to make her report to Mother Superior in hopes she can get into the convent, foill Dino's marriage proposal and save her charity.  She's convinced there's no way she'll ever find a man that could interest her romantically...which is good, right?


And that's when everything changes.


The story is about the importance of selfless diligence and the dangers of selfish indifference, and how what we want is not always what we need.


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